can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
