I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
