This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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