its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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