Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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