i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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