There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
