I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize