if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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