I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize