I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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