I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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