Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's shark week go big or go home
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
