so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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