im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
