Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
