Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Floor bacon is actually really good
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
