how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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