I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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