i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
