Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
