he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
