what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
