Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
