i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
