WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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