my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
