worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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