I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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