By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
