Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
