Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
