i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
