Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We are two peas in an std pod
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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