So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
