I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
