I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
