I have demons in me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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