dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
