So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize