google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
