Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
