So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
