i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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