im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
