i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
