Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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