we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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