dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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