come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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