who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
