my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
