haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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