This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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