I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
