i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
