Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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