As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you will always have a special place in my vag
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
