he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
