We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
