you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
