Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
