I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize