does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you traded sex for a burrito?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
