hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
