Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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