Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
