i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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