I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I AM VODKA MAN
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
